1. I’ve developed a constant deliberation between attending to important academic tasks and drinking myself to sleep.

    The latter usually wins.
     
  2. I think the worst thing to happen to me has been turning 21.
    Now I can destroy myself any time.

    And I don’t resist.
    I just drink and my thoughts get muddled down in disorientation long enough to let me breath.
    And I wake up to suffocating again.

     
  3. my heart has flat-lined and given me this urge to tongue and teethe at the sensory complex of your skin
    I want to feel the warm blood pump beneath your fleshy layers to remind me of how I couldn’t handle it any more

     
  4. 20:54 10th Oct 2014

    Notes: 2488

    Reblogged from cristy

    image: Download

     
  5. 18:10 5th Oct 2014

    Notes: 1

    on a stimulating night I treat myself as a dart board
    I still don’t feel better on the melancholy day following

     
  6. 16:34 4th Oct 2014

    Notes: 1

    There is so much strain on my heart that I think I’ll try poisoning it tonight.

     
  7. I caught sight of a dandelion seed head
    I gleaned at its wonder while its fragile stem beckoned me to blow out its pixies
    Like Nature offering me some subtle chance at a wish on my birthday
    I thought about how holding you would be more than any comet could grant me
    But I leaned forward and planted my hands into the earth anyway
    And with my weak, smoked-out lungs, I blew out her gift
    To express my hankering for your lovely heart

     
  8. I wish you could feel the churning of your gut like I do when I see pictures of you. I want you to sample the experience of getting dizzy at the thought of having your desires burnt up like the wishful paper nothings we make on new year’s. If only you trembled like an addict like I do when I think of you. If the weight of your head amplified to a degree that made planting it upon anything irresistible, you’d have some idea. I wish we could feel each other’s suffering.
    I don’t know if it would make a difference in how we treat one another. I just like to entertain the notion that we’d put forth more consideration before pulling the trigger.

     
  9. 20:06

    Notes: 69643

    Reblogged from garagedad

     
  10. Bid farewell to the foolhardy boy; he is the jaded remains of a lover’s husk
    Save your spit for the other dreamers; I’ve chased these empty aspirations dead and my legs are exhausted
    From not only the persistence, but from stepping up the stools of guillotines
    My neck is calloused from the nooses secured around it; fibrous words so pretty coiled into something so lethal
    And I’ve heard my head snap too many times; Love is just some amenity that I am not privileged to indulge

     
  11. I am the grand afterthought

     
  12. I live in a fucking paradox.

     
  13. 20:57 11th Sep 2014

    Notes: 147

    Reblogged from findingredemption

     
  14. I grant you my consent to excavate the confines of my visceral remains 
    Awaken my sensations and I will eagerly engulf you within a vivid inferno
    Fervent with an insatiable hunger for such an ethereal girl as yourself 
    Quench my thirst for affection through your continually flowing panaceas
    I do feel grave to liken you to an opiate, but I’m disengaged from the aches 
    My perceptions are only graced by an erupting euphoria in my broken head
    I’m eager to graze your skin with my fingertips in bold exploratory motions
    Until I’ve inscribed my candid gratefulness for the intersection of our entities
    And within every lovely abrasion, I will flow within, thermally seeping through
    Arousing your tender flesh with enticingly induced palpitations in your veins
    I find you the catalyst to secretions of chemicals that can kill the sadness
    You are a swelling of cells in my brain that I hope to violently metastasize
    And you are the radiant luminosity in which I’ve been starkly deprived of

    Its apparent to me now that an angel helps one to resolve shortcomings
    I want to show you the sinner I am; I want to relish in my atrocities with you

     
  15. 11:07 2nd Sep 2014

    Notes: 96691

    Reblogged from findingredemption

    My heart swings back and forth between the need for routine and the urge to run.
    — (note to self)

    (Source: c0ntemplations)